For many years, I have been asked the same question over and over; why a toaster? Of all the things you could be, why on Earth did you decide to be a toaster? Well, the truth is folks, I didn't just wake up one morning thinking, "Hey, I think I'll be a toaster." It went kinda like this... See, what happens is the mommy toaster and the daddy toaster go into the toaster master bedroom. There, they get on the phone, order a pizza with extra pepperoni (after all, it's a special occasion), and call up the stork. "What?" he squawks, "You want a toaster? What is this, some kind of prank call? This is a baby delivery, not an appliance shop!" A heated discussion ensues, and after nine months of bickering and squabbling, a tiny little toaster appears at the socket (see picture).
Yes, like most of you unfortunates, I also live with the relentless curse of having a "real life". This consists mainly of inane schoolwork, although occasionally a Significant Other wanders aimlessly into the picture before finding his/her way out again :). I have short hair that changes color and style on the fairly regular basis of whenever I feel like it. To find out what color it is today, you'll have to email me. Other than that, I'm a fairly normal toaster.
![[Toaster]](toaster1.gif)
Once in a while, I have these weird dreams where I'm human. My arms are far too long, and I have only 2 feet as opposed to my usual four. I also have legs (?!). Upon awakening, I can never remember what it's like to walk on them, but maybe it's just as well. I think it must be my alter-ego. Would you like to see a drawing (since you can't take pictures of dreams) of this craziness?
As for scholastics, well, I'm currently planning to be a microbiologist (probably specializing in virology or genetics). Or maybe I'll be a psychologist. I haven't decided yet. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be a toaster, right? Well, even toasters need a change of occupation every once in a while.
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